Over Crowded Rooms

Its always the times I'm left alone too long, the times I'm left to delve into my own mind's endless barrel of thoughts. Thoughts about the past, thoughts of the things that I have done that lead me to those different situations, thoughts on how I could have changed the way things turned out if I had maybe been a different person to who I really am.

And as I watch the clothes that seem to spin forever behind their glass protector, I'm taken back to that room where I sat staring out a fourth floor window onto the streets below and how I wished I could trade places with any of the people I watched out there, even for a few moments, and I see a sign in the distance that says 'Be Happy' and I think to myself how fitting it seems as I'm choking back tears that I refuse to let escape out of me. Not today, not now.

I wait and I hear people saying my name in the hall, but I know better then to interrupt them. And I think about how I was once told by a complete stranger on the bus that I was a real classy lady, a picture of class, and I laugh- I laugh because classy ladies didn't end up in places like this, no classy ladies avoided these places like the plague and not because they are trying to, but because their natural class would see to it that they never did.

A song starts on a distant radio somewhere, one I've never heard and I think how that in normal circumstances I probably would have liked the song, I probably would have listened for a line that I could jot down to look up later and find out the name of it. But I don't jot down any lines today, I never want to hear the song again after this.

And I wait.