Monday, May 9, 2011

Oh What A World

Sometimes I get caught up in this feeling of thinking I’ll never measure up to anything much in my life. It is not that I am self-loathing and hate my life or anything, on the contrary over the last few years I have come to really appreciate everything that I do have and all the small occurrences and musings that make my life so wonderful.

But I am still plagued by thoughts that make me think my all consuming imagination and dreams that I hold for myself are nothing more then a fairytale that I could just never achieve in this life- whether it be to obvious hindrances like lack of intelligence or money, or something more like the ever present fear of rejection and failure, or even that maybe at the end of the day that what I dream of doing is unattainable because I’m just not good enough and other people that too held the same dreams so dear well they just are good enough to make them work.

And I always hear people say positive affirmations like ‘follow your dreams’ or ‘the world is your oyster, you can do whatever you put your mind to’ and I can’t help but think that maybe that is all a crock, nothing but bullshit that we are spoon feed by people who think that believing in these things will actually make them true. Which unfortunately it is just not the way the world works.

I look at peoples lives all around me and I wonder if they have followed their dreams and actually achieved what they wanted to or if they just decided on settling for something less because they just could not keep going on a hope. I look at myself and wonder if after the unbridled hopes, plans and dreams of my youth fade, am I destined to just fall into the assembly lines of mediocrity and settle for whatever keeps food in my belly and a roof over my head?

Is that the way it all works?


  1. Feeona! Your latest passage is EXACTLY how I have been feeling. When I had read it, I thought maybe in some way you were reading my mind. BUT I do want to remind you that you have actually achieved quite a bit so far along your journey in life and have so much of a wonderful future ahead! You are one of the most interesting people I have met, no lie! You seem to have so many talents and have such style, that I have found you very inspiring.
    Keep doing what you're doing, because "Good things come to those who wait".
    Stephanie Lucas

  2. nice words Fee.... we prob all feel that way unfortunately, sometimes more than others :) just don't settle for the easy route because it's well,.... easier. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't make it right, right? at the very least you're travelling the world and by the sound of it, having a fkn blast. far braver than most.... anyway..... don't give up on whatever ever it is you're chasin'.... by the way, don't know if you know but i paint. paintings. i always thought you'd make a great portrait subject.... so next time you're in P-town, if you're up for it, I'd like to paint you.... i.e. take some photos then paint from them.... nothing creepy :) check out my website if you like.... Steve M

  3. following your dream is the hardest thing to do
    just take one step at the time, feeona ;)

    feel free to follow me!
    i'd be more than happy to follow back


  4. Everyone in live thinks some day the same as you have thought.why we're here,where do we go?
    as the song says :)

    as you can see,live is a difficult 'thing' to deal with.don't worry!:D

  5. any way,this was something like a love song!hahaha
    but I want to send you some love for 'spirit bad moments'.
    I follow you! :)

  6. Oh hon, you write OH!

    So nice to read your thoughts. I'm your newest follower.

    And thank you for stopping by x

  7. You are so sweet Steph (-: xox

  8. Oh and Steve of course I know that you paint, I remember you giving me the details to your website when I was at Xpress. I would love to be a portrait subject for one of your paintings, that would be awesome actually- I'm going to be back in Perth around Christmas (-:

  9. I think a lot of people think like that, I have studied for four years and I am now on less money than I was before I got a degree. It is VERY difficult to stay true to your self, but if you only have your self to answer for and one life to live I would rather struggle all my life than do something I hate x

  10. I've felt this way before too but in the end you have to do what makes you happy and the only way you can get there is to do something about it yourself. Never settle for anything less than what you want!!!

  11. appriciate every day that you make this world a better place to be in' dreamz can come true just dont make your goals to high every failure is a lesson, every lesson is a gift of knowledge whats the problem? enjoy every new day reflect on the good surf the bad so as not to wipe out again xxxx loves xxxx


Thankyou for your comments- they brighten up my day (-: