After much consideration of where this feeling was coming from, I realized that it was the spark of inspiration that has been all but gone from my life these last few months. You see for a while now, longer then I care to admit, I have felt no creativity in my bones. I have wanted to write, to take photographs, to make videos, to decorate my apartment, to meet interesting people, to dance- I have wanted to create things like I use to, but I have lost the feeling of how to, the internal pleasure I once got from it.
I have spent months trying to get the feeling back, I have tried to force myself to write and to take photographs, but there has been no lusture behind them, no excitement- souless tripe! I have watched films, listened to songs, looked through countless art work of all varieties and read books, all in an attempt to find that lost inspiration- to no avail.
So how peculiar it should be that tonight, a night with no special meaning, I find myself feeling the spark of desire to do something creative for the first time in a long time. A spark that might just become a flame. I have missed you.